Quips and Quotes for June from our monthly flier
A man deserves to be under his wife's foot....when he's a heel.
Note from a new bridegroom: "Dear Pastor Smith, I want to thank you for the beautiful way you brought my happiness to a conclusion.
The amount of advice children need is directly related to the number of good examples they see in their parents.
Critics are people who can tell other people they should not have done what they themselves cannot do.
If you can buy a person's friendship, forget it. It's not worth it.
Adolescence is the awkward age when a child is too old to say something cute and too young to say something sensible..
One of the challenges of life is to let your sad days be in the past, your angry days be inthe future and your happy days in the present.
Bigger Than Life
Have you ever known anyone who seemed to be bigger than life? To me it was my dad.
There was something about him.
He laughed and he loved and he cried.
He knew... well...everybody.
He stayed calm when his business was slow.
He was genuinely concerned with other people's problems.
He was a great listener, dropping everything if you needed someone to talk to.
He looked right at you.
He paid his employees before he paid himself.
He was funny - oh, so funny.
He was happy - loved life.
He got a kick out of making up new handshakes with his grandkids.
He was respected.
He was loved.
He always offered sound advice.
He was principled.
When he died, he was ready.
Was my dad perfect? No.
Was he bigger than life?
He was to me.
Success: The ability to make enough money to meet the obligations you wouldn't have if you didn't make so much money.
Sign in the window of a pet shop: "Love, Guaranteed Forever."
The person who graduates today and stops learning tomorrow is uneducated the day after.
Having a real friend is like having an extra life.
Jeremy: "I found a free tranquilizer to help my stress and worry."
Robert: "What's it called?"
Why is it that we complain about high prices, but the minute we come across an item that doesn't seem to be overpriced , we wonder if it's any good.
Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
Johnny: "Can you see my little doggie wag his tail?"
Mom: " Johnny, you know we don't have a doggie."
Johnny: "But I do, Can't you see his tail wagging?"
Mom: "Is it an imaginary dog, Johnny?"
Johnny: "No, he's for real, and if you hold his doggie house you can see him."
Mom: "I will if you insist."
Johnny went through the motions of placing the non-existent doghouse in his mother's lap. Then he asked, "Now can you see my pet doggie wag his tail?"
By this time the mom was getting a bit tired of the nonsense and she replied sharply, "No, I can't, Johnny and neither can you."
Johnny: "So why are you holding his doggie house?"
A boss drives, a leader leads.
Nothing makes flattery more believable than being the object of it.
To himself a man is as old as he feels, to strangers, as old as he looks, to friends, as old as he acts.
Mary: "My husband got this new treatment at the health spa called, 'The handsome mudpack treatment for men.'
Cindy: "Did it work?"
Mary: He was really gorgeous for a few days ."
Cindy: "And then?"
Mary:"The mud fell off."